One of the most common things I hear from people considering mediation is this: “I want to do this the right way… I just don’t know how I can afford it right now.”
And I want to say this clearly, right from the start: that concern is valid.
These are fair questions, especially in San Diego, where the cost of living is already high and financial stress is often one of the reasons couples seek divorce or family mediation in the first place.
This article offers an honest look at:
- The cost of mediation in San Diego
- How it compares to litigation
- The often-overlooked cost of doing nothing
- Real, practical ways clients find the money to move forward
Mediation is not free. It is a meaningful financial investment, especially at a time when you may already be feeling stretched, uncertain, or overwhelmed. But when we zoom out and compare mediation to the true cost of the alternatives, many clients find that mediation is not only reasonable…it’s often the most affordable option available.
Let’s talk honestly about what divorce mediation costs, what it replaces, and how people realistically make it work.
Divorce Mediation Costs Money, But Compared to What?
In San Diego, divorce mediation typically costs significantly less than litigation, often a fraction of the $50,000–$100,000 many couples spend in court. Mediation is structured, predictable, and designed to protect your finances while resolving disputes efficiently.
Mediation requires time, professional expertise, preparation, and support. It’s designed to help you reach agreements that affect your finances, your children, and your future. Our mediators at San Diego Family Mediation Center hold law degrees, as well as additional degrees, such as their CDFA® certification (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®) or their Master’s in Dispute Resolution (MDR). We are all highly educated and continue to seek education and training whenever possible to learn new ways to help our clients and their families. We live, eat, and breathe dispute resolution. All those years studying, combined with over 18 years of experience, have tremendous value.
Our work has tremendous value. The important question isn’t “Is mediation expensive?” It’s “Compared to what?”
San Diego Mediation Cost vs. Divorce Litigation Costs
When people compare mediation to hiring attorneys and going to court, the difference is often staggering.
Litigation often involves:
- Two attorneys (one for each spouse)
- Retainers that commonly start at $5,000–$10,000 per person (that is $20,000 before you even file a petition)
- Ongoing hourly billing for emails, motions, court appearances, and delays (hourly billing includes being billed in 6-minute intervals. If your attorney bills at $500 an hour, a short email that takes 5 minutes to read will cost you a minimum of $50.00.
- Months—or years—of unresolved conflict
- Costs that escalate the longer emotions run high
It’s not unusual for litigated divorces to cost $50,000–$100,000+ total.
Mediation, by contrast:
- Uses one neutral professional (with the option to have additional professionals, if desired, such as therapists, financial advisors, etc.)
- Focuses on problem-solving rather than fighting (mediators are trained to de-escalate high emotions, whereas attorneys get paid more the higher the emotions escalate)
- Is typically completed in weeks or months, not years
- Allows you to control both the process and the budget
Ironically, mediation costs a fraction of litigation while producing more durable, cooperative outcomes. You pay less, but you gain more.
The Financial Risk of Delaying Divorce Mediation
There’s another option people often consider—sometimes unconsciously: “We’ll just wait. Maybe things will settle on their own.”
Sometimes time helps. Often, it doesn’t. What is the cost if nothing is resolved:
- Joint finances remain tangled
- Temporary arrangements become permanent problems
- Conflict spills into work, health, and parenting
- Legal intervention later becomes more expensive
“What If I Can’t Afford Mediation Right Now?” Real Options That Work
This is where I want to be, especially real and helpful. Many people who ultimately choose mediation did not have the money sitting in a savings account. They got creative, intentional, and strategic.
Here are some of the most common (and realistic) ways clients fund the mediation process:
1. Seeing Divorce Mediation as a Financial Protection Strategy
Rather than viewing mediation as another bill, some clients see it as:
- An investment in protecting assets
- A way to avoid tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees later
- A step toward financial clarity and independence
This mindset shift alone can open new options.
2 Can Mediation Be Paid from Marital Funds?
In many cases, mediation is paid from marital funds, not one person’s personal income.
This can include:
- Joint savings
- A shared checking account
- Temporarily agreeing to use marital resources to resolve marital issues
This is often far more equitable than one person fronting litigation costs alone. Using joint savings, joint investments, or even joint credit cards is a short-term fix for a long-term, durable solution. There are ways the settlement may account for any uneven contributions towards the mediation costs, as well. Register for a free consultation; your mediator can help you understand options.
3. Reframing Mediation as a Financial Protection Tool
Many clients come to see mediation as:
- A way to protect assets
- A method to avoid draining legal battles
- An investment in financial clarity and stability
Compared to litigation, mediation often saves tens of thousands of dollars.
4. Flexible Scheduling to Make Mediation More Affordable
Mediation doesn’t have to be rushed. Some clients:
- Choose to work hourly instead of under a flat fee, so they can space sessions out over time
- Focus first on the most urgent issues
- Break the process into manageable phases
This allows costs to be spread out rather than paid all at once.
5. Reducing Other Short-Term Expenses
This isn’t about sacrifice forever, it’s about temporary prioritization. Clients sometimes:
- Pause non-essential subscriptions
- Delay discretionary purchases
- Reallocate funds for a few months to focus on resolution
Doing this may help free up money to apply toward monthly payments. While we can help by providing a short delay (50% due at signing and 50% due 30 days later), we also offer Klarna as a payment method that allows you to finance the cost over a longer period, if needed.
6. Getting Support from Family (When Possible)
Not everyone has this option—but when they do, some families are willing to help specifically because mediation avoids court. Parents or relatives often prefer to support:
- A peaceful process
- Something that benefits children (often, grandchildren)
- A solution-oriented approach rather than a legal battle
7. Considering the Cost of NOT Reaching an Agreement
When clients compare:
- Mediation fees
vs. - The financial chaos of prolonged conflict or litigation
They often realize that mediation is the most predictable, controllable cost in an otherwise uncertain process.
Mediation Is About Control, Including Financial Control
One of the greatest advantages of mediation is that you stay in the driver’s seat. You control:
- The pace
- The priorities
- The tone
- The overall cost trajectory
Instead of reacting to legal bills and court dates, mediation allows you to move forward intentionally, with clarity and support.
A Final Thought
If you’re hesitating because of cost, you’re not alone—and you’re not wrong for feeling that way. But many clients who once said, “I don’t think I can afford this,” later say: “I’m so glad we found a way to make this work.”
If you’re wondering whether mediation is financially possible for your situation, a conversation can help clarify options—without pressure, and without judgment.
At San Diego Family Mediation Center, we provide:
- Clear explanations of mediation costs
- Transparent payment structure
- Flexible scheduling options
- A calm, structured path forward
You don’t need to have everything figured out before reaching out.
Schedule your confidential consultation today and learn how mediation can protect your finances, reduce conflict, and help you move forward with clarity and control.
