🕊️ P.A.U.S.E.
A Mindful Tool We Like to Use at San Diego Family Mediation Center
When conversations feel tense or overwhelming, taking a moment to PAUSE can help you respond thoughtfully—rather than react emotionally. This simple tool is designed to support you during mediation and beyond, especially in high-stakes family conversations. And who doesn’t love tools!
P – Pay Attention
Notice what’s happening inside you and around you.
🧠 What are you feeling?
👂 What are you hearing—both in words and tone?
👀 What are you observing in the other person’s body language?
Self-awareness is the first step to effective communication.
A – Acknowledge
Name your internal experience—without judgment.
💬 “I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
💬 “This topic makes me anxious.”
Validating your emotions helps you stay grounded and avoid being hijacked by them.
U – Understand
Try to understand your own needs and what the other person may need.
❓ What’s important to you in this moment?
❓ What might they be trying to express underneath their words or actions?
Every conflict hides an unmet need. Understanding that need builds bridges.
S – Step Back (and Slow Down)
Take a breath. Give yourself a moment to pause mentally before responding.
🧘♀️ Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.
A brief pause can prevent long-term damage and open space for resolution.
E – Engage Mindfully
Now choose your next step with intention.
🗣️ Speak calmly.
🤝 Ask questions with curiosity.
💡 Express your needs clearly and respectfully.
You don’t have to agree—but you can always choose to engage with care.
🌱 PAUSE is not about avoiding the conversation—it’s about showing up with clarity and compassion.
