Summer Break & Co-Parenting: How to Plan Peacefully
Summer should be a time for sunshine, relaxation, and cherished memories—especially for children. But for divorced or separated parents, the shift from school-year routines to summer schedules can bring stress, confusion, and conflict if not carefully planned. At San Diego Family Mediation Center, we’ve helped hundreds of families navigate this season with grace. With the right preparation, communication, and flexibility, co-parenting during summer break can be a smooth and even joyful experience.
Here are our top strategies for peaceful summer co-parenting, grounded in the values of San Diego Family Mediation Center: clarity, cooperation, and the well-being of your children.
1. Start Planning Early—Together
Waiting until the last minute to talk about summer schedules is a recipe for conflict. Ideally, co-parents should start discussing summer plans in March or April, especially if travel, camps, or out-of-town guests are involved. Use your parenting plan as a starting point—but be open to adapting it for your child’s current needs and interests.
Mediation tip: If communication is tense or unclear, working with a San Diego divorce mediator can help you collaborate constructively and reach agreements that work for everyone.
2. Put Everything in Writing
Verbal agreements often lead to misunderstandings. Once you’ve agreed on the summer schedule, put it in writing and share a copy with one another. Include:
- Camp or childcare drop-off/pick-up responsibilities
- Vacation dates and destinations
- Special events (birthdays, holidays, etc.)
- Back-to-school transitions
Consider using a shared calendar app or a co-parenting platform like Talking Parents to stay organized and reduce miscommunication. Use this link to get started:
3. Be Clear About Travel Details
If one parent is planning to travel with the children, be sure to share:
- Travel dates and times
- Destination and lodging details
- Flight or transportation information
- Emergency contact information
In California, most parenting plans require notice and consent for travel, especially for out-of-state or international trips. If there’s a disagreement, a family mediator in San Diego can guide the conversation and help ensure both parties feel informed and secure.
4. Choose Camps & Activities Together
Camps are a big part of summer—but they can also be a source of disagreement if not coordinated well. Ideally, both parents should:
- Agree on the camp or activity
- Split costs fairly (as defined in your agreement)
- Discuss transportation logistics
If your child is old enough, include them in the decision. Summer is an opportunity for them to grow—and feeling heard can go a long way.
5. Stay Flexible—But Respectful
Plans can change, and flexibility is key in any co-parenting relationship. However, flexibility should not be confused with unpredictability. If you need to adjust the schedule:
- Communicate as early as possible
- Offer to make up time if needed
- Acknowledge the inconvenience and show appreciation
Respect and courtesy go a long way in maintaining a low-conflict co-parenting relationship, especially during emotionally charged times like summer.
6. Manage New Partners & Family Dynamics
Summer often includes extended family visits or vacations with new partners. These situations can stir up emotion—but clear communication and boundaries can prevent tension. Be honest with each other (and with your children) about who will be present and prioritize safety and emotional well-being above all.
Mediation can help when introducing new family members feels sensitive or uncertain.
7. Keep the Focus on the Kids
Above all, remember: summer is for the kids. Whether it’s beach days in La Jolla, summer camps in Encinitas, or road trips up the California coast, your children will carry these memories for years. Make sure they associate summer not with stress or conflict, but with connection, fun, and stability—even across two homes.
