When the commitment is gone, and the love has disappeared, couples are faced with a number of choices on how best to separate their lives. Traditionally, many couples have turned towards a divorce that is done by lawyers and through the courts. Their thoughts bend towards litigious actions designed to force cooperation from the now reviled partner or spouse. They vow, “I will make them pay!”
But couples should be aware that lawyers and courts are in business to maximize the volume of traffic through their facilities. Many billable hours will be spent analyzing your finances, calculating formulas to determine each partners’ contribution to the marriage, and ultimately place a value on each person’s worth for payment as you proceed into the future. The overwhelming focus is on how to reduce each spouse to a number, while simultaneously billing you for as much of your net worth as possible.
A lawyer works for their client, which is either you or your spouse. Their alliance is with only one of you, and it’s a cutthroat contest in which the most talented lawyer wins. Talent involves arguing for their client in court, and presenting as much negative evidence about the other party as possible. Winning in this case is not about anything other than money, no matter how much destruction lays in the wake of the proceedings.
Of course, no one will deny that lawyers and courts serve crucial functions. Sometimes there is no other possibility when a spouse become abusive or violent. Even spouses who had good intentions to maintain financial support of their children, change their mind when they meet someone new or start a new family. Courts are needed to enforce laws that people conveniently ignore or break altogether.
If you believe divorce through litigation is the only option for you, the mediators at San Diego Family Mediation Center ask that you also consider our years of expertise in mediation. We believe that hatred and revenge are emotions that cause people to make poor decisions. Little good can come of a situation in which we feel an overwhelming urge to hurt those who have hurt us. Turn to us for new solutions to resolve the rage and start you on a path towards resolution. We offer proven methods designed to bring about healthier results for broken families than the litigation focused churn and burn divorce mill. We encourage you to contact San Diego Family Mediation Center and find a better way.
by: Jennifer Segura
