So, while this has taken me sometime to get started, the time is finally here.  What I hope to do with this blog is educate the public about mediation in general, but specifically, family mediation. How is it that our society can be so technologically advanced in so many ways, yet still turn to the courts to have their marriage dissolved in an archaic fashion?

Family courts should be dissolved!!! Not only are they FAR too costly for a family who has been living on two incomes and now are taking those two incomes and dividing them…well…according to the courts, in half.  Although, “even” is not what I think of when I think of a divorce that takes place in court.  In addition to being too expensive, taking your divorce to court is setting yourself (and your family) up to fail.  Even if you “win” you lose…but worse than that, your children lose too.  Haven’t you (and your soon to be ex spouse) fought long enough?  Isn’t it time to start building again, not continue to tear each other apart?  By deciding to divorce, aren’t you essentially “throwing in the towel”…”raising the white flag”…whatever you want to call it…it’s OVER!  So why are you still fighting??

If you have made the decision to end the marriage, that is fine.  But do yourself a favor and make a decision to bow out gracefully…retain your dignity (and your kids college education) and come together, one last time, as a team, and make these final decisions together, not on separate sides of the ring.  Don’t pay two people to fight for you, don’t fight at all, negotiate…mediate…whatever you do…DON’T LITIGATE!

by: Jennifer Segura

Jennifer Segura with west coast family mediation center
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